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Okay… So, I know I really fell off the face of the Earth for a long time. Again. All I can really say is that I’m sorry. I know there were a lot of people that were enjoying the new content. Well, the new content will continue! Never fear.

Now that we’ve gotten the first apology out of the way, I suppose this wouldn’t be an Update Monday without an update, right?

Well, I had a job at Target for a few months. Other than the aching feet and being trapped behind a counter it was actually a fun job. I really liked everyone there. I just couldn’t handle the lack of movement! You know, not moving and having a desk job is one thing, but not moving and standing in one spot all day is a bit more tedious.

Also, my daughter turned three back in January! She is getting so big and learning so much. I love her to bits. What’s really fun is watching her learn new words faster than I can blink. Time to check my language!

My husband and I also split up back in December. A divorce will be in the works as soon as we have the money, but for all intents and purposes, we’re both single now. And I kind of might have a thing for one of our mutual friends. Complicated much?

So, we’ll see how everything works out. But that’s all from me for now. Sorry again about not being active. Let’s try and fic that…

Until next time,
Kasaki Kihoya, signing out.

Welcome to the very first Tech Tuesday! I’m figuring that every week we’ll feature two highlights from recent tech related news. Hope that tickles your fancy!

The Apple website advertising the malleability of the iPhone 6.

The Apple website advertising the malleability of the iPhone 6.

Yes, you saw the above picture correctly. More than likely you’ve already heard all sorts of things about how the new iPhone can be bent. Did you know though that this was Apple’s intent? To provide the masses with a phone that can easily be bent and more than likely broken seems a bit redundant. Especially when you think about how many younger people are going to be owning this phone. And we all know that our youngsters are far more likely to break phones and need replacements than we are. Although that is not to say that adults don’t break phones as well.

Finally, Microsoft is offering something called Windows Technical Preview to the public. What is this you might ask? Well, it’s quite simple. Anyone who wishes to try out the new Windows 10 Operating System and offer feedback to Microsoft can get a legitimate copy of the work in progress as each build comes out. Sounds great, right? Well, only if you have a backup computer to install Windows 10 on.

Microsoft is upfront in warning people who might want to be a part of this that Windows 10 is a work in progress, full of bugs, and will probably crash your computer at some points and maybe even delete some files. They even go as far to say the following:

Really know your way around a PC and feel comfortable troubleshooting problems, backing up data, formatting a hard drive, installing an operating system from scratch, or restoring your old one if necessary…Unexpected PC crashes could damage or even delete your files, so you should back up everything. Some printers and other hardware might not work, and some software might not install or work correctly, including antivirus or security programs. You might also have trouble connecting to home or corporate networks.

In short, really know what you’re getting yourself and your computer into before trying Windows 10 at this moment. AndΒ do not use your primary computer for this. Oh, but if you run into problems, Microsoft will try to help you. They just want the right to see absolutely everything you have on your computer. So really, don’t try this if you want some semblance of privacy. Or just use a computer that you don’t plan on using for anything personal if you’re set on trying it out.

Honestly, if I had a spare computer this would be a really cool thing to try out. But if you try it, walk into it knowing what you’re doing. At the very least, have a tech savvy friend close at hand!

Hello everyone,

I will be keeping this short as I am like three days behind on posting and want to get that done before I have to post the next YouTube Thursday…

Anyway, I turned 21 this past weekend. Usually, I think that’s a big deal for most people. You know, go out drinking for the first time kind of thing? Not me. I went to an Elton John concert for my birthday! I’ll tell you guys what I’ve been telling everyone else:

It was like a concert on steroids.

Flashy lights, a projection screen on the stage, about 6 fog machines, a moving chandelier that lit up and a surprisingly good surprise opening act.

Other than that, just been spending time with my little one since getting home on tuesday.

Told you I would keep it short.

Non-Profit Friday: HeForShe

Today is Non-Profit Friday. Though the name says Non-Profit, it is not limited to organizations that label themselves as non-profits. We will also cover movements, campaigns and the like.

Today we are going to talk about HeForShe.

The logo for the HeForShe movement.

The logo for the HeForShe movement.

HeForShe is a program founded by actress Emma Watson. A name you may recognize as Hermione Granger from theΒ Harry Potter films. HeForShe is also led by UN Women.
HeForShe is a movement that is inviting men to speak out against gender inequality. In her speech introducing HeForShe, Emma Watson pointed out to us that there is no nation that can claim they actually have gender equality. That includes her home, the UK and America.

These inequalities come in many forms. Gender stereotypes, pay gaps and different opportunities are only some of them. She further argues that gender stereotypes are harmful to men and women. Men who suffer from domestic violence or mental illness are afraid to get help because they don’t want to appear weak. Women frequently cave under the pressure of being seen as the weaker of the sexes and don’t receive the same pay when they obtain employment as their male counterparts.

Towards the end of her speech, Emma goes on to address men directly, saying, “Gender equality is your issue too.” This statement is entirely true. Nothing on the front of ending gender inequality will ever be accomplished unless we unite together as people. Feminism has been wrongly represented as man-bashing and the belief that women are better than men.

This could not be further from the truth.

Feminism is the belief in equal rights between men and women. It is the belief that women deserve the same respect, pay and opportunities that men have. But more than this, it is the belief that by tearing down what we have come to see as gender norms we will become better and more complete versions of ourselves. If you believe any of this you are a feminist. And that is okay!

If you are a man, you can go the HeForShe website and take the pledge to take action against gender inequality. Regardless of gender, you can also spread the word via social media. A popular method of doing this is taking a picture of yourself with a paper that says #HeForShe and posting it to twitter or Facebook with the hashtag HeForShe. If you choose to support HeForShe, please take it very seriously and take action when you witness an act of gender inequality. Speak out. Because feminism shouldn’t be a bad word.

And it’s your issue too.

YouTube is becoming a bigger and bigger platform for different forms of media. Some names you may recognize are PewDiePie, Smosh, Shane Dawson and CaptainSparklez. Musicians are even starting out on YouTube nowadays! If you can do something, and do it well (Or so badly that it’s funny in some cases) than you already have potential as a YouTuber.
YouTube Thurday is dedicated to those that are trying to follow their dreams by doing what they love!

CalemGames playing Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag.

CalemGames playing Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.

First up is CalemGaming. This guy is a fairly new Irish YouTuber who has already managed to get a good amount of subscribers in just five short months. He’s done games like Happy Wheels, The Forest, Five Nights at Freddie’s and Tomb Raider. Not to mention his Funny Gaming Montage videos. All of these are linked, so go give him a look. And if you like the content, hit the Subscribe button.
Just goes to show how popular gaming channels are getting to be, doesn’t it?

Runaground Music- Cover of Maps by Maroon 5.

Runaground Music- Cover of Maps by Maroon 5.

Runaground music (RAG for short) is a single person who just loves making music. He’s gathered quite the following on YouTube just by doing high quality covers of popular songs. RAG is already about to hit 170,000 subscribers, and that’s in just two short years!
Some of his most popular videos include his covers of Avicii- Wake Me Up, Ed Sheeran- The A Team, and Nico and Vinz- Am I Wrong.

And now, after moderate success on YouTube RAG is coming out with his first EP: Anti-Gravity. It can be found here.

Mario TST- Disturbance Callers 2

Mario TST- Disturbance Callers 2

The above image is from a small fledgling channel called MarioTST. With only 356 subscribers, MarioTST is a very new channel, and actually the only reason I know about this channel is because the man behind MarioTST himself reached out to me and asked me to check out his channel. I loved it and decided it needed some love and recognition! This guy does mainly comedy videos, but not the usual slap-stick variety. He takes a very down-to-earth approach to his humor. Honestly, it’s kind of refreshing.
If you’re going to check this channel out I recommend watching Disturbance Callers 2.

And if you love it as much as I did, support this guy by giving that subscribe button a good slap!

That’s all for this YouTube Spotlight. Do you have any channels you wish got a little more love? Leave a comment and tell me all about them. Maybe they’ll make it into next week’s YouTube Spotlight!

Until next time,
This is Kasaki Kihoya signing out.

First of all, this is the first post in my daily blogging! Now, I’ve devised a schedule for this. As my blog says, this will be a little bit of everything, so everyday is a different topic. How about that?

The following is my Blogging Schedule:
Monday: Usual Life Updates.
Tuesday: Technology.
Wednesday: Gaming.
Thursday: YouTube Spotlight.
Friday: Non-Profits & Campaigns.

You may have noticed that Saturday and Sunday are not listed. Well, those will be my planning days for the week. So I won’t be posting on those days. Everyone needs a day off, don’t you think?

So, this is our very first Gaming Wednesday, huh? I’m gonna keep it short, but I think you guys may like this one.

You’ve all heard of Destiny correct? That absolutely awesome game released by the makers of Halo? Well, have you also heard of Fallout? Now, I think we can all agree that these two games are pretty much nothing alike. Well, apparently a game shop (location unknown) tried to pass off a power armor suit from Fallout as something from Destiny.

Take a look!

That’s so obviously not from Destiny, but whatever works I guess!

Speaking of Destiny, you may or may not have heard about the game’s infamous Loot Cave (here’s a Kotaku article if you want to learn more). Don’t know about it? Well it’s located in the corner of the Russia map and by shooting into it you can gain endless amounts of experience points and gear. Crazy? Absolutely! Are we sick of shooting into caves yet? Um… Not quite yet.
Also, since we’re already on the topic of caves, you can get 25,000,000 EXP for shooting into a cave for six hours! Yes, you heard correctly. Six hours. And people are actually doing this. Oh games, what won’t we do for those coveted experience points?

That’s all for today. Have any other gaming news you’d like to see covered? Leave me a comment and tell me all about it, it may just be featured on my next Gaming Wednesday.

Until next time, have fun gaming!
Kasaki Kihoya signing out.

Hey all!

It’s me again. Just here to tell you the latest things and what’s to come.

You may have noticed the new twitter widget. That’s right, now you can follow me on twitter. If this blog has touched you in any way it will mean so much to me if you follow me so I know who I’m reaching out there. Go ahead and follow me, I’ll follow you back!

Next is that things are going to change a little. I’m going to start doing a daily blog from here on out. The only exceptions being days where I am extremely busy. The 27th is probably going to be one of those days. Just a heads up about that.

Anything else besides this you may wonder? Of course! The content that is posted to this blog is going to change a bit too. There will still be the usual stuff, what is happening with me, etc. But on top of that I’m going to start doing other things like gaming, and culture. The list will grow, but that is the beginning. Eventually a schedule of what things I post about on what days will be made. You’ll be the first to know about it.

One more thing. November every year is going to be dedicated to my adventures with participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I’ll be doing thirty days straight of blogging about the novel I’ll be working on, tricks to staying on task and how I deal with writing fifty thousand words in thirty days. I promise, better than it sounds. This will be on top of my normal stuff. So twice daily posts in November! Yay you!

In short, I’m expanding and trying to get serious about the blogging thing. I think it will eventually turn in vlogging and I’ll end up on YouTube. We’ll see. Let me know what you guys think and leave suggestions for what you want me to talk about.

But remember, no matter what, that you’re perfect just as you are!

With love,

Kasaki Kihoya

It’s been almost a year to the day since I’ve last posted anything on this blog. To any who read this, I thank you for sticking around!

This year has been particularly hard and me and my family. We’ve been couch hopping, in shelters and now we have a stable roof over our heads, but no internet and conditions that border on completely undesirable. With this comes stress and worry over what I can do to help my family thrive. But along the way, and almost without my notice, my depression has deepened and all but swallowed me whole.

It may not surprise some of you to learn that I am a huge supporter of the non-profit To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA). Whenever life and my emotions overwhelm me I go to their blog to fill me with hope and inspiration. It is because of TWLOHA that I am writing these words to you now, and I want to share some of the wisdom I have picked up along the way.

Love is something we’d all like to think we know about. Admittedly, a lot of people are spectacular with love, but there are those of us who struggle with certain aspects of it. Or even the concept as a whole. I, for example, am great at giving love to others and receiving love from others. What I struggle with is making sure to love myself.

Self-love is one of the most important things we can do, but so many of us find this the hardest part. Children are experts in this area, particularly toddlers. They give, receive and love themselves without restraint, and that is how it should always be! I like to think that this is a huge part of the reason that toddlers learn and grow so well. Love plays in integral part in our growth and ways of life. But there are some of us who struggle immensely with self-love.

Somewhere along the way we forget about love.

Now, that is not to say that we don’t know what love is anymore. More like we forget how to accept love from ourselves.

Somewhere along the way I forgot about love.

It happened when I was five years old. My grandmother’s death sucked me into a fifteen year battle with depression. A battle I am still fighting. I felt like her death had taken everything from me, including my ability to love myself. I don’t know how long I spent in the new apartment my mom and I had moved into listening to the same track on a Lee Ann Womack CD and staring out the window. Sometimes I would break out in tears, and most of the time I would just stare and let the hours go by.

During those hours I would think about my grandmother. How she looked, the way she acted, the things we did together. What always stood out the most was the way she had loved me. My mom tells me that she had struggled with bad, life-threatening health problems her entire life. She had always been in pain. And she would spend most days asking God why she was still alive. My mom was the outlet for her anger. My mom tells me that when I was born I became my grandmother’s reason for living. She told my mom once, after I was born and while holding me, she knew why God had never allowed her to die. My mom tells me that we spent every waking moment together and that I called her ‘mom’ too.

There is a reason that I have to say that these things, things that I should at least be able to know for certain happened, are things my mom tells me. I don’t remember a single thing. My entire life, up until my grandmother’s stroke when I was five years old is a complete blank. And the three months after that are mostly blank too. That was how long she was in the hospital before she passed away.

When I was six years old, roughly a year after her death, her death and the memories of her life became too much for me to handle. I had stopped eating for the most part, talking and doing anything other than staring off into space was out of the question. Her death was eating me alive and the way I was going it is no understatement to say that I wouldn’t have survived long. I decided one day, just before going to bed that I wanted to begin moving away from her death and living my life again. So I forgot. I forgot about my grandmother. When I woke up the next morning, my mind had done something miraculous and horrendous. All of my memories of her, prior to the stroke, were simply gone. All I remember of her is her purple nightgown.

The mind works in mysterious ways.

Her death, and my response to it, took away one of the most important people in my life, my memories and my ability to love myself. Shortly after her death I began to hate myself and who I was. To this day, nearing my 21st birthday, I can’t remember her and I struggle with self-love.

But I’m learning, and so can you.

Someday, I hope to be healed enough that just maybe my memories will come back to me. Someday, I’ll be ready to remember my grandmother’s love.

It’s okay to be sad or happy or angry.

Its okay to succeed or struggle.

It’s okay to love others and yourself.

It’s okay.

We don’t talk often enough about the things we struggle with. Be it depression, or finances, or homelessness or anything else under the sun. Today, I’d like to tell you that it’s okay to talk about it.

I struggle with love. And I know others do too.

Somewhere along the way I forgot about love.

Someday, I will remember love.

I’ve come to far to give in now.

And so have you.

No matter who you are, you’ve come too far to give up on your struggles.

To borrow a phrase from TWLOHA, no one else can play your part.

I think our struggles will make us value everything we’re given a lot more in the long run.

Besides, who ever said love was easy?

But remember, no matter what, that you’re perfect just as you are!

With love,

Kasaki Kihoya

This post is not going to be very long, so sorry about that right now.

First, I wanted to let you guys know that I am starting a second blog centered around reviewing games for Android phones. So if anyone is interested in that kind of thing I’ll be making my first post not too long after this goes up. Here is a link: http://wp.me/3R65j

Next, the real part of the post. For some reason the topic of following your dreams keeps coming up for me today. So, I figured I should make that what my post was about today. What got me started on this topic was the fact that I am starting to write a story, hopefully of novel length, and the main character is a girl who has given up on her dream because nearly everyone in her life has told her it’s useless. From there I started to contemplate again what I really wanted to do. Eventually I came to the conclusion that there are too many things I want to do, but that isn’t the point here.

My point is that so many people settle for a job that allows you to get by, and they don’t consider doing what makes them happy. Funnily enough the first chapter of my story is called The Difference Between Happiness and Just Getting By. I dream of being so many things that it’s crazy, but I plan on doing all of them, or at least trying. Some of them include becoming a YouTuber, a writer, a professional blogger, a game designer and a professional game/anime reviewer. I plan to try everything, and honestly, nothing will stop me from doing it. And everyone who is reading this should do the same. Follow your dreams and your heart. As long as you do that you will end up where you need to be.

Remember, no matter what, you’re perfect just as you are!

With love,

Kasaki Kihoya

Over the last few months my daughters socks have been going missing. Along with my underwear. Today I figured out why. To say I’m disturbed, disgusted and furious is an understatement. I won’t go into details, but essentially the missing socks were being… Violated by the adopted son of the relative we’re living with. In the morning when he leaves I’m collecting evidence and calling child protective services. The boy obviously needs help, and quite frankly, I don’t feel comfortable with him being within 100 feet of my daughter now.

On that note, todays entry is about the sexual abuse and exploitation of children.

Statistics show that there are hundreds of children everyday that are abused or exploited in a sexual manner. There are probably five times that many that live with someone or know someone who fantasizes about abusing or exploiting a child sexually. Not only is this disturbing to hear, but that is also a lot of children facing these situations or at risk of becoming involved in situations like these.

What could possibly be going through the mind of someone who enjoys using children like this? Some people would say it comes from having been abused or exploited themselves, but others believe it comes from being mentally Ill or unstable. Whatever the reason it is reasonable to assume that these people are mentally disturbed in some way.

What becomes of the children who live through this though? One possibility is that they become sexual abusers or exploiters themselves. There are also tales of children who become violent or completely withdrawn from society. The effects that this treatment has on children is tremendous. There are even children who kill themselves because of this abuse.

There is not much else I can say on the topic without becoming a bit depressed though. This is an extremely upsetting topic for me seeing as I have a daughter and with the situation I’m dealing with. I apologize for the serious and saddening topic, but I felt it needed to be mentioned. And I really needed to get this off my chest. So, I’m going to end this here.

Remember, no matter what, you’re perfect just as you are.

With love,
Kasaki Kihoya